Mother of the Groom 101

These kids made me mother of the groom.

These kids made me mother of the groom.

Hello friends! Welcome to a place where you will find answers to your questions about being mother of the groom.

If you’ve arrived here at the beginning of this journey, you may be wondering:

What, if anything, should I be doing?

What are the duties and responsibilities of the mother of the groom?

Will I be asked for a guest list? How many people can be on it?

Who pays for what?

What does the mother of the groom do at bridal showers?

Where can I find rehearsal dinner ideas? (It’s a new century: is the rehearsal dinner still my job?)

Is there a timeline, or better yet, a checklist?

At the top of the list, for many, if we’re honest: what am I going to wear?

You’re where I was in the summer of 2012.

My son had proposed to his beautiful and lively girlfriend in April. Both were just finishing college. Jobs, apartments and all sorts of obstacles loomed large between us and the big day, but it was coming, probably within the year.

Gradually, I began to ask myself all the questions we’ve discussed. Within two weeks of the proposal, for the first time in my life, I heard the international adage “shut up and wear beige.” The feeling that I was in new, uncharted territory became an increasingly nagging voice in my head that said: “Girl, you don’t know how to do this.”

And I didn’t.

But, I did have experienced friends. And Google. And time, or at least I thought had time. And the ability to ask questions. Some of the answers were surprising. Really surprising. (We’ll talk more about that later.)

Those answers, the research, my own experience, and the realization that every day many people find themselves in this same position have brought us to this juncture, this internet address, this project: The Other Mother.

Hopefully, this will be a collaborative discussion. Whatever your experience level, whether you’re a first-time mother of the groom to be, or you’ve married off several sons, we have things to learn and things to share about being in a new situation where we’re not sure who’s in charge or what’s expected. The mother of the bride, if she’s willing, usually has a significant role to play. The groom’s mom? This is a supporting character part. She’s the other mother.

Will you help me and others by telling your stories, sharing your ideas and even your fears?

Will you courageously tell us, if God were handing out do-overs, what you would change?

Most importantly, will we help each other become better mother-in-laws? There’s much more than a wedding at stake here. The foundation for generations are being laid. Our contributions are vital.

Fortunately, as a community of women, we collectively possess the wisdom we seek.

It’s real life.

We need each other.