Proper wedding etiquette can be difficult to determine in a culture where “anything goes” is the new black. What sort of gift should the mother of the groom bring to a bridal shower? Answering this question isn’t as easy as you may think.
Some have asked if it is appropriate for either mother to bring a gift to showers. Wedding etiquette experts have little to say about this. Emily Post says you should attend the shower, but is silent about whether to bring a gift. Perhaps she assumes you will. Emily did say, though:
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
The fact is, proper etiquette is nothing more than making others feel at ease. Conducting yourself with grace and care will always be the right thing to do.
Good taste and thoughtfulness always win
With that in mind, and after consulting a few dozen experienced mothers of the groom, the consensus is that bringing a tasteful gift to any bridal shower you are invited to is appropriate. This honors the bride and your son, the bride’s family and hostesses, and others who’ve given their time and resources to attend.
This is not the time, however, for showy, extravagant presents. If you are giving the couple a room full of furniture or a downpayment for a house, save that gesture for a private moment with the bride and groom. Instead, select thoughtful but modest gifts, wrapped beautifully, something you know the bride will love.
A can’t-go-wrong solution is to choose something from the couple’s registry. Nearly anything monogrammed or personalized is also a good choice, especially one which is in keeping with the theme of the event or, again, comes from their wish list. A gift you know your son would enjoy having is also a good idea, provided you know the bride will like it too.
Gifts are an opportunity to let your daughter-in-law know she has your wholehearted support and blessing. They present a chance to launch your son and his bride with a boost of your unconditional love. Your approval is the greatest gift you can give.