Bridal shower pointers for the mother of the groom

Bridal shower pointers for the mother of the groom

A bridal shower for your future daughter-in-law may be among the first duties of the mother of the groom in the months leading up to the wedding. Your role may be as simple as attending and bringing a gift, or as pivotal as hosting the event. However you are involved, plan to enjoy all the parties thrown in honor of the couple. It’s a fun time in everyone’s lives.

Bridal Shower Basics

Attending bridal showers is a public blessing and show of your support for your son and his bride-to-be. It is good to remember that basic etiquette is never out of style.  With that in mind, be sure to:

  • RSVP in a timely manner to any shower invitation. If you are unable to be there, make sure you explain to your son and daughter-in-law why. You may think that a difficult or unyielding circumstance  is obvious, but a couple involved in wedding planning may miss a lot of details in the lives of others. Communication is so important during this time.
  • Arrive on time, or more preferably, 20 minutes or so ahead of time, in order to be there with the couple or bride to meet and greet other guests. Even though you may not be hosting this event, you are an important member of the wedding party. This is a great time to meet other important people in your daughter-in-law’s life.
  • Bring a gift in keeping with the theme of the party. Keep in mind that there may be other showers or occasions for gifts for the couple before the wedding. Budget accordingly. Also, in my opinion, this is not the time to grandstand by bringing a very extravagant present. Save that for a private moment with the couple.
  • Be ready to answer questions from family and friends about what the couple needs or wants in terms of gifts. Be ready to share registry and any other relevant information in this regard.

Yes, You Can Host A Shower

Traditionally, it was considered poor form for family members of the couple to host a shower since it is essentially asking for gifts. Even more traditionally, there was only one shower, bridesmaids hosted it, and only women who were also invited to the wedding were on the guest list.

Lifestyles and trends have changed both these traditions considerably, however, and the groom and his family are much more involved in these occasions. For instance, coworkers of either the bride or groom may throw a party celebrating the upcoming marriage. Friends and family may choose to honor the couple with a variety of parties prior to the wedding, particularly when the location of the wedding will prevent many from attending. These can include a party hosted by the mother of the groom or the groom’s family.

During my son’s engagement, I was unaware that  the groom’s mother may host a bridal shower. Indeed, not until researching for this project did I realize the tradition had evolved, finding a thumbs up from none other than Emily Post. Similarly, Sydell Rabin, author of The Complete Mother of the Groom, and Sharon Naylor, author of Mother of the Groom, both agree. You will find a few voices out there, Martha Stewart being one, that either just don’t agree, or haven’t caught up with the times, but I think if hosting a shower for your future daughter-in-law is feasible and something you want to do, you should definitely do it. It is a wonderful opportunity to have fun while building the foundation for the future.